ouh dat MyssPG!
she called >> nazilr0n. (ouh-figure-dat-out!)
h0r0sc0pic >> pisces lady.
i
age groupz >> in her early 20's
her nickzz >> ezan, LizyPg™, MyssGothyc, ScaryEmy.
fav genrez >> punkRawkEmoGoth.
her status >> complicated.
email addy >> devilstawk@hotmail.com
pastymezz >> st0nyn and gets paran0id.
inside her >> em0GothHead,swit,l0vyn,irritatyn & ...
i wanna be de'Gal, wh0 0lwez smyle...
& brightened up y0ur day...
th0' she c0uldn't brightened up her 0wn.
n0 matter h0w hard 0r t0ugh life is...
n0 matter h0w hurtf0ol n sad i am...
i will 0lwez smyle...
& smile lyk i mean it. :]
ouh Pathetic,
MyssLizyPg
Y Y Y
random.
after 4 days of HELL, im having my sweet yet confused 2 OFF days and followed by my 2 night shifts. i wannabe happy on my next 3 OFF days please. :(
after the big fight, everything settled down. we're like ensure things won't repeat the same thing. i was lyk convincyn of my doings and hopyn he could change soon. haiz, if only he could read my heart and my mind. how i wish, yeah... how i wish. thanks to that special someone. ily and imy to0 as a friend. seriously, i miss my pasts. i myss the *PompanGiler* in me. i felt im being so different out of sudden. fot the past few months, im juz not being myself. im juz wannabe myself. i don't wanna change. why should i? i didn't do those sinful or bad stuffs. but they're just bad habits.
ouhkae, no doubt im having this bad hearings. someone's talking (in a soft tone), i just can't hear clearly luh. so i was lyk pretending i heard. i-noe-im-sick-and-mcm-phm. im sick and tired of asking pple to repeat what they've just said and so i pretended i understand and smile instead. LOLX. im wierd, yeah i know. And that's particularly the reason why part of my life pissed off when he has to repeat himself whenever i showed the blur look or when i didn't reply anytyn. haiz.
it's so lame if we ended up seperate ways just because of some lame reasons. i dump him cause he's stupid, he asked me alot of wierd questions and stuffs, he's a parkinson, he's DUMBARSE, he's just usyn me for he's own good, he's this and that... and so forth. or, he dump me cause im deaf, im having hearing problemz, i like to repeat myself and ask pple to repeat few times, im so emotional... always cry and so on. I JUST FIND IT LAME OUHKAE! doesn't make any sense and related at all. haiz.
seriously, i could feel that part of my life changed after his reservist. he's not lyk before (the tymes when we almost everydae hangout and chyll out together at my area and sms-es everydae and everynyte like there's no tomorrow). Now, we always find fault and argue instead. it's coming to our 6th monthsary. all along only my promises being fulfilled. what about his? you see, i really wanted to question hym bout his promises... but i will know the answer before i ask. haiz. you know what? i give up. ape nk jady, jady luh. he only care bout my promises to hym, what bout hys promises to me? buat2 tk tao. binget sak. :( .
i've been thinking. why should i hurt myself. why the cries and why the worries. i thynk i should put myself back in piece with this quote which i used to thynk back in tyme: Kalau ade, ade luh, Kalau tak ade, tak ade luh. nak buat mcm mane, da naseb. tkkn nk tolak atau kutok takdir kan? ku terima dan ku redha ape yg terjady. benda da nk jady. manusia yang merancang, tuhan yang tentukan. hmmmmmmmm.
if he really loves me, then he should thynk, accept me and appreciate of what i've done and won't even dare to hurt me or my feelings. may GOD workout his will one day to make him realised if he were just making used of me. human, it's so hard to predict, who are trustworthy and who doesn't. i leave everytyn on GOD's hand.
i don't lose anytyn if i were to dump hym. anytyme i can dump and leave hym just lyk that. i don't even regret what i've done. it's just that, i would feel half-hearted and wasted. wasted part of my life with a LOSER (if he still doesn't change to be a better and wise MAN). i don't smoke, i don't drink and i don't club. i don't even know how to flirt (OMG!), faithful to one and hardly to say no. he should be glad and lucky to have women like me. haiz. i just don't understand guys luh.
: i DON'T NEED hym at all. he NEEDS me. :
i've been ranting bout part of my life. sick. yeah, i know. ouhkae enuff of hym luh ehk. let's talk bout my life now. yeah... get a life! i am right now. heeee. :] i had enuff of cryings and consoling myself, lyk ermmm... everydae? haiz. bak kate pepatah: nangez air mater darah skalipon, takkan dpt balek punya. correct or not? haiz. just let the past be the past, learnt from the mistakes that we had on the past and so we can do better in the future. cheydeybah kakak PG da bebual. :X
i totally don't regret at all bought that lappy for hym. seriously. i sincerely bought specially for hym for hys own GOOD use. any negative thoughts or misusage of internet, i don't wana know at all. lyk i said, if he really loves me, he will be faithful to me, if he isn't then i just let GOD do the works. hmmmmmmm. i should have bought that new lappy by now, but i was in a tight budget, i would only buy end of this mth. :] . by hook or by crook, die-die i will buy by end of this month, as a gift for myself. heeee, ouh i just make myself contented.
then, i would make some savings to buy design tools/software and took course that i wanted. economy now is in a bad condition. so i guess, i just drop the idea of resignation from my existing career (mcm phm) for the tyme being. maybe, next yr or so then i would thynk bout it. right now, endurance do played an important role in my life now. haiz. ouh, im so sick of this shitty life siak. career konon. PUIK. been cursed everydae at werk is not a CAREER luh siak. LOLX. ouh, i want to be someone. haiz...
geee. i felt much better after blog.
...deep inside, itz bleedin...
4:54 AM
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